Self-control is big goal in life, IF you are a Bible-believing Christian.
In Titus chapter 2, four categories of people - older men and women, younger men and women - are addressed by Paul and all four are required to learn and manifest self-control. The very fact it is to be taught tells me it is a skill and it is something you can learn but you will need a good teacher or in the case of Titus 2, a mentor.
In an article by Katrina Schwartz, she identified self-control as a skill where one learns to delay gratification.
What was new and interesting to me was the point she made about the necessity of a trusting relationship between parties involved for self-control to be manifested: To even want to delay gratification requires a trust expectation. It was further pointed out that many of whom have experienced discrimination or disrespect from society, have no reason to trust those in positions of authority. In the context of a requirement by God (via instructions from Paul to Titus), self-control may be difficult if one has trust issues with God. Could I suggest that one reason you may be having difficulty practicing self-control is because you have trust issues with the ultimate source of authority, God Himself?
Self-control is the ability to override thoughts, impulses and emotions. It can be strengthened with exercise. So what can you do to delay self-gratification (practice self-control)?
In Titus chapter 2, four categories of people - older men and women, younger men and women - are addressed by Paul and all four are required to learn and manifest self-control. The very fact it is to be taught tells me it is a skill and it is something you can learn but you will need a good teacher or in the case of Titus 2, a mentor.
In an article by Katrina Schwartz, she identified self-control as a skill where one learns to delay gratification.
What was new and interesting to me was the point she made about the necessity of a trusting relationship between parties involved for self-control to be manifested: To even want to delay gratification requires a trust expectation. It was further pointed out that many of whom have experienced discrimination or disrespect from society, have no reason to trust those in positions of authority. In the context of a requirement by God (via instructions from Paul to Titus), self-control may be difficult if one has trust issues with God. Could I suggest that one reason you may be having difficulty practicing self-control is because you have trust issues with the ultimate source of authority, God Himself?
Self-control is the ability to override thoughts, impulses and emotions. It can be strengthened with exercise. So what can you do to delay self-gratification (practice self-control)?
- purposeful self-distraction with executive function. Have the goal in mind and actively inhibit your responses. It’s a pre-determined “if/then” plan based on specific trigger points.
- self-distancing - remove yourself from the temptation or remove the temptation from you.
- pretend that your source of temptation is something undesirable and make it less attractive; utilize the power of imagination. .
Watch this video for a visual guide of what I just wrote.
Here are 3 keys to use often in developing self-control:
- keep the goal in mind - without clear goals, you have no reason for controlling your actions
- suppress responses - use the 3 ways mentioned above
- monitor progress toward the goal - your goals must be measurable and must be measured often; encourage yourself by celebrating every small success
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