Skip to main content

Overcoming Setbacks with Seligman's 3P's

How do you successfully process negative events that hit you in life ?

Psychologist Martin Seligman discovered 3P's that STUNT recovery from such events:
  • Personalization - what happened is my fault; realize that bad events aren't entirely your fault. Not everything that happens to you happens because of you. When you blame yourself, you delay recovery.
  • Pervasiveness - this will affect ALL areas of my life; realize bad events don't affect every area of your life
  • Permanence - the aftershocks of this event will last forever; realize hardships won't follow you everywhere forever even though you feel that the debilitating anguish will always be there. When we are suffering, we tend to project it out indefinitely and overestimate how long negative events will affect us. One way to overcome this is to replace "never" and "always" with "sometimes" and "lately".
So next time, when the next 'bad'comes, remind yourself that it is not entirely your fault, it will not affect your whole life and it will end (one of my favorite mantras is "This too shall end"). Be an overcomer!

This is a takeaway from Option B (Sandberg and Grant)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

QUESTIONS OLDER CHRISTIANS HAVE BUT ARE AFRAID TO ASK ALOUD

QUESTIONS OLDER CHRISTIANS HAVE BUT ARE AFRAID TO ASK ALOUD Old age presents a unique set of challenges, and for Christians, these can intersect with their faith in profound ways. Here are five common questions or struggles Christians may face in their later years: Why does God allow suffering and decline? As bodies weaken, illnesses become more frequent, and loved ones pass away, Christians may grapple with the problem of evil and suffering. They might question why a loving and all-powerful God permits such physical and emotional pain, leading to doubts about His goodness, presence, or even existence. This can be especially difficult for those who have lived a life of faith and expected a more peaceful or less challenging end. What is my purpose now? Retirement, loss of independence, and the inability to participate in activities they once enjoyed can lead to a profound sense of loss of purpose. Christians who have been activ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dream Jacket

New Zealand was cold but he knew just what he needed to keep him warm . . . and to bring him closer to realizing his dream. A leather jacket. He may have told me how and where he got the jacket but I can't remember. All I knew he wore it a lot while studying in New Zealand where he dreamt of wearing it when he rode his big bike. His jacket was part of his dream - to study overseas, to ride big bikes, to be successful - and he treasured it. He eventually returned home and as the years passed, put on weight and no longer could wear the jacket. Furthermore it was too hot and heavy for the humid Malaysian weather but he kept it. A treasure. A memento. A link to a special time in history. But the day came when, out of his generous heart and love for his brother, he gifted the jacket to his brother who was going to Melbourne for a much needed rest. The jacket was received with joy and it served the brother well by keeping him warm and more than that, my continuing its role as memory ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Am I A Beggar, Begging?

I believe there are people out there who want to help and are able to help, so I share needs, both personal and church/ministry related. I also believe what James said in his letter, "You do not have because you do not ASK." So it was a surprise to me to be (recently) labelled a beggar and to have my sharing of needs and requesting for assistance and donations described as begging. My initial response was, "What? Me a beggar, begging? I began to wonder when did asking become begging and is there a difference between asking and begging. So I turned to Google and typed in 'difference between asking and begging', and lo, to my surprise, it was an often asked question! The articles, forums and comments listed were helpful and most importantly, eye opening, especially the dictionary definitions. It says that if I ask someone or ask for something earnestly and/or humbly, thats begging. Then I have been begging (oh no!). It also says that if I ask especially f...
Post a Comment
Read more