Skip to main content

Worse And Good

Bad things happen. Learning how to deal with them properly could mean the difference between defeat and development.

One of the things that may help you when a 'bad' happens is to focus on worse case scenarios or in layman's terms ask yourself, "What could be worse than this?" Think for a moment about how much worse things could be. Yes, I hear you and "No", your situation could be worse. Really. Realizing that things could have gone really bad releases gratitude that will erode some of the grief you may be experiencing.

On the other end of the spectrum, you could purposely express thanksgiving and gratitude for the good you do have for even in the darkest night of your soul, there are stars of blessings twinkling, no matter how small they seem to be. Acknowledging blessings can be a blessing in and of itself says Sandberg in her book Option B. She shared about an experiment where people who made a weekly list of five things they were grateful for were significantly happier and reported fewer health problems.

Count your blessings in your loss and grief. When a 'bad' happens, look for the many 'good' that is also happening simultaneously; identify them, name them and thank God for them. Here is what Sandberg wrote: Counting blessings can actually increase happiness and health by reminding us of the good things in life. Each night, no matter how sad I felt, I would find something or someone to be grateful for.

So the next time you experience a 'bad' ask yourself these two questions:
  • What could be worse than this?
  • What is the one thing or person I can be grateful for today?
It could be worse. Good things and people have not stopped happening. In my life. And yours.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Understanding Church Trauma

Christian  communities are expected to be our safest emotional and physical spaces. Even so, there are times this sacred space become toxic, abusive, and traumatizing to a church member when leaders and members of a congregation exhibit actions that fail to reflect the love of God. In the infographic below, four common ways church trauma is caused is identified and explained. I hope the information will help you understand what has happened to you or someone you know in church (or now no longer in the Christian community). The purpose of this post is to promote healing among those traumatized and to highlight practices that need to stop so that a Christian community is restored once again as the safest  emotional and physical space for any child of God. As you continue educating yourself on church trauma and abuse, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. If you need to, seek a mental health professional to help you better understand your condition its impact on your...

What to do now?

My takeaway after meditating on Jesus' words in Matthew 3:15 What is proper to do now may demand a reversal of roles or doing things differently. It may also be temporary. Now determines who does what. But what to do now ? Do whatsoever is just, fit, requisite in our circumstances. "Observe every divine appointment and honor every divine ordinance" even if you feel unworthy and awkward. As a result, one necessary (required) act in obedience will result in the doer and the recipient being blessed and benefiting richly.

Overcoming Setbacks with Seligman's 3P's

How do you successfully process negative events that hit you in life ? Psychologist Martin Seligman discovered 3P's that STUNT recovery from such events: Personalization - what happened is my fault; realize that bad events aren't entirely your fault. Not everything that happens to you happens because of you. When you blame yourself, you delay recovery. Pervasiveness - this will affect ALL areas of my life; realize bad events don't affect every area of your life Permanence - the aftershocks of this event will last forever; realize hardships won't follow you everywhere forever even though you feel that the debilitating anguish will always be there. When we are suffering, we tend to project it out indefinitely and overestimate how long negative events will affect us. One way to overcome this is to replace "never" and "always" with "sometimes" and "lately". So next time, when the next 'bad'comes, remind yourself ...