Busting Corrosive Cognitions

When a yucky, negative, depression-causing thought invades your mind and messes things up, it's time to address these corrosive cognitions. Ask yourself:

What evidence supports my thinking?
Would others say this is true about me?
Does feeling this way make me feel good or bad about myself?

These negative thoughts need to be replaced (reframing negative thoughts will be addressed in another posting). Even so, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones doesn't mean repeating empty affirmations (something I have been doing in the past; no wonder those affirmations didn't work). Instead create and use self-statements that are factual and meaningful.

Begin by writing down - journaling - your negative thoughts as it will you you cut them down to size.

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Love. T-shirt.

I created a t-shirt. It all began when I saw some beautifully designed t-shirts for couples, in English, for sale. I wondered if there was a market for such t-shirts here, for couples in Sabah and Sarawak who would think such a t-shirt would be a great gift for his/her boy/girlfriend. Then I thought, "Why not make a t-shirt that says "I love you" but in the languages of the original peoples here in Borneo. So in my love advice FB page, Cinta Bijak 101 , I asked readers to tell me how they say "I love you' in their own individual native languages. I got a lot of answers and a list of phrases in so many languages! Now what do I do? How do I put all these words on a t-shirt without making it look like a book? Then an idea hit me. Why not arrange all these phrases so they form a heart shaped collection of phrases. It was a challenge and after many tries, my art designer finally came up with a design I loved. I took it and printed my t-shirts. From Sarawak , ...

Understanding Church Trauma

Christian communities are expected to be our safest emotional and physical spaces. Even so, there are times this sacred space become toxic, abusive, and traumatizing to a church member when leaders and members of a congregation exhibit actions that fail to reflect the love of God. In the infographic below, four common ways church trauma is caused is identified and explained. I hope the information will help you understand what has happened to you or someone you know in church (or now no longer in the Christian community). The purpose of this post is to promote healing among those traumatized and to highlight practices that need to stop so that a Christian community is restored once again as the safest emotional and physical space for any child of God. As you continue educating yourself on church trauma and abuse, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. If you need to, seek a mental health professional to help you better understand your condition its impact on your...

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