Skip to main content

Why Am I Always Expecting The Worst?

Notes and thoughts from my study of this article after I realized I lived expecting tragedies to always follow (happen).

So I found out that catastrophizing is a form of anxiety, something irrational, based on false assumptions. Technically I have a cognitive distortion.

What was scary that hit close to home was the notion it could be a symptom of trauma (tell me about it!) that stems from and breeds helplessness and hopelessness!!! Wow, immediately I was flooded with childhood memories of various forms of abuse and gripping fear that almost daily clouded my being. Talk about revelation. Talk about feeling helpless and hopeless as a kid. Anxiety - yup.

It is also a way to prevent myself from loss. If I allowed myself to celebrate (which I don't), feel wonderful (happy etc., anything positive), I become fearful that it will be lost (soon). So I preemptively guard against the loss of joy. I anticipate disaster, failure and loss lurking in the bushes ready to pounce and drag away my object/reason for joy.

Truths I need to affirm:
  • life is uncertain
  • bad things do happen but not as often and as bad as I imagine
  • I do have the resiliency, coping skills and resources to cope when bad comes knocking
Ways to OVERCOME catastrophizing:
  1. Catch myself doing it.
  2. Challenge the validity of what I am thinking
  3. Consider other possibilities or scenarios (even good ones)
  4. Focus on NOW
  5. Breathe and chant positive mantras (All will work out for good. It is well.)
  6. Can I prepare or prevent this expected tragedy? Do it!
  7. Practice healthy coping strategies

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

QUESTIONS OLDER CHRISTIANS HAVE BUT ARE AFRAID TO ASK ALOUD

QUESTIONS OLDER CHRISTIANS HAVE BUT ARE AFRAID TO ASK ALOUD Old age presents a unique set of challenges, and for Christians, these can intersect with their faith in profound ways. Here are five common questions or struggles Christians may face in their later years: Why does God allow suffering and decline? As bodies weaken, illnesses become more frequent, and loved ones pass away, Christians may grapple with the problem of evil and suffering. They might question why a loving and all-powerful God permits such physical and emotional pain, leading to doubts about His goodness, presence, or even existence. This can be especially difficult for those who have lived a life of faith and expected a more peaceful or less challenging end. What is my purpose now? Retirement, loss of independence, and the inability to participate in activities they once enjoyed can lead to a profound sense of loss of purpose. Christians who have been activ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Am I A Beggar, Begging?

I believe there are people out there who want to help and are able to help, so I share needs, both personal and church/ministry related. I also believe what James said in his letter, "You do not have because you do not ASK." So it was a surprise to me to be (recently) labelled a beggar and to have my sharing of needs and requesting for assistance and donations described as begging. My initial response was, "What? Me a beggar, begging? I began to wonder when did asking become begging and is there a difference between asking and begging. So I turned to Google and typed in 'difference between asking and begging', and lo, to my surprise, it was an often asked question! The articles, forums and comments listed were helpful and most importantly, eye opening, especially the dictionary definitions. It says that if I ask someone or ask for something earnestly and/or humbly, thats begging. Then I have been begging (oh no!). It also says that if I ask especially f...
Post a Comment
Read more

Understanding Church Trauma

Christian  communities are expected to be our safest emotional and physical spaces. Even so, there are times this sacred space become toxic, abusive, and traumatizing to a church member when leaders and members of a congregation exhibit actions that fail to reflect the love of God. In the infographic below, four common ways church trauma is caused is identified and explained. I hope the information will help you understand what has happened to you or someone you know in church (or now no longer in the Christian community). The purpose of this post is to promote healing among those traumatized and to highlight practices that need to stop so that a Christian community is restored once again as the safest  emotional and physical space for any child of God. As you continue educating yourself on church trauma and abuse, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. If you need to, seek a mental health professional to help you better understand your condition its impact on your...
Post a Comment
Read more