Why Am I Always Expecting The Worst?

Notes and thoughts from my study of this article after I realized I lived expecting tragedies to always follow (happen).

So I found out that catastrophizing is a form of anxiety, something irrational, based on false assumptions. Technically I have a cognitive distortion.

What was scary that hit close to home was the notion it could be a symptom of trauma (tell me about it!) that stems from and breeds helplessness and hopelessness!!! Wow, immediately I was flooded with childhood memories of various forms of abuse and gripping fear that almost daily clouded my being. Talk about revelation. Talk about feeling helpless and hopeless as a kid. Anxiety - yup.

It is also a way to prevent myself from loss. If I allowed myself to celebrate (which I don't), feel wonderful (happy etc., anything positive), I become fearful that it will be lost (soon). So I preemptively guard against the loss of joy. I anticipate disaster, failure and loss lurking in the bushes ready to pounce and drag away my object/reason for joy.

Truths I need to affirm:

life is uncertain
bad things do happen but not as often and as bad as I imagine
I do have the resiliency, coping skills and resources to cope when bad comes knocking

Ways to OVERCOME catastrophizing:

Catch myself doing it.
Challenge the validity of what I am thinking
Consider other possibilities or scenarios (even good ones)
Focus on NOW
Breathe and chant positive mantras (All will work out for good. It is well.)
Can I prepare or prevent this expected tragedy? Do it!
Practice healthy coping strategies

Comments

Love. T-shirt.

I created a t-shirt. It all began when I saw some beautifully designed t-shirts for couples, in English, for sale. I wondered if there was a market for such t-shirts here, for couples in Sabah and Sarawak who would think such a t-shirt would be a great gift for his/her boy/girlfriend. Then I thought, "Why not make a t-shirt that says "I love you" but in the languages of the original peoples here in Borneo. So in my love advice FB page, Cinta Bijak 101 , I asked readers to tell me how they say "I love you' in their own individual native languages. I got a lot of answers and a list of phrases in so many languages! Now what do I do? How do I put all these words on a t-shirt without making it look like a book? Then an idea hit me. Why not arrange all these phrases so they form a heart shaped collection of phrases. It was a challenge and after many tries, my art designer finally came up with a design I loved. I took it and printed my t-shirts. From Sarawak , ...

Understanding Church Trauma

Christian communities are expected to be our safest emotional and physical spaces. Even so, there are times this sacred space become toxic, abusive, and traumatizing to a church member when leaders and members of a congregation exhibit actions that fail to reflect the love of God. In the infographic below, four common ways church trauma is caused is identified and explained. I hope the information will help you understand what has happened to you or someone you know in church (or now no longer in the Christian community). The purpose of this post is to promote healing among those traumatized and to highlight practices that need to stop so that a Christian community is restored once again as the safest emotional and physical space for any child of God. As you continue educating yourself on church trauma and abuse, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. If you need to, seek a mental health professional to help you better understand your condition its impact on your...

Peter's Info Box

Search This Blog