I Feel Good! You Better . . .

Getting things done. Not (only) the urgent but the important. Isn't that your dream too? A dream yet to see the light of day?

Well, it looks like the missing element is actually emotions, to be exact, good, positive emotions.

The right emotional state is the key to increased productivity and naturally, success.

If you are in a constant bad mood, doing the urgent and important gets pushed aside because your greatest hunger/need at that moment is to have a mood change, to feel good. So any thing promising fun and/or relief (a smoke, porn, a drink, any party, video games, YouTube videos etc) is given preference, distracting you from what you must or want to do.

Want to do what you want to do and not procrastinate? Be in the right emotional state.

Work on two things: being happy and being optimistic. They call this mental toughening - something I'm just learning about and wishing I understood and practiced from my 20's!

Here's one suggestion and I am beginning to work on it: recognise and celebrate small wins/success. Yes, small wins. You know, its tough for me to recognise progress, to see small wins. It's even tougher to celebrate them. But hey, if I am going to do it, I better get good at this - celebrating small victories.

How about you?

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Love. T-shirt.

I created a t-shirt. It all began when I saw some beautifully designed t-shirts for couples, in English, for sale. I wondered if there was a market for such t-shirts here, for couples in Sabah and Sarawak who would think such a t-shirt would be a great gift for his/her boy/girlfriend. Then I thought, "Why not make a t-shirt that says "I love you" but in the languages of the original peoples here in Borneo. So in my love advice FB page, Cinta Bijak 101 , I asked readers to tell me how they say "I love you' in their own individual native languages. I got a lot of answers and a list of phrases in so many languages! Now what do I do? How do I put all these words on a t-shirt without making it look like a book? Then an idea hit me. Why not arrange all these phrases so they form a heart shaped collection of phrases. It was a challenge and after many tries, my art designer finally came up with a design I loved. I took it and printed my t-shirts. From Sarawak , ...

Understanding Church Trauma

Christian communities are expected to be our safest emotional and physical spaces. Even so, there are times this sacred space become toxic, abusive, and traumatizing to a church member when leaders and members of a congregation exhibit actions that fail to reflect the love of God. In the infographic below, four common ways church trauma is caused is identified and explained. I hope the information will help you understand what has happened to you or someone you know in church (or now no longer in the Christian community). The purpose of this post is to promote healing among those traumatized and to highlight practices that need to stop so that a Christian community is restored once again as the safest emotional and physical space for any child of God. As you continue educating yourself on church trauma and abuse, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. If you need to, seek a mental health professional to help you better understand your condition its impact on your...

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