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Understanding Church Trauma

Christian  communities are expected to be our safest emotional and physical spaces. Even so, there are times this sacred space become toxic, abusive, and traumatizing to a church member when leaders and members of a congregation exhibit actions that fail to reflect the love of God. In the infographic below, four common ways church trauma is caused is identified and explained. I hope the information will help you understand what has happened to you or someone you know in church (or now no longer in the Christian community). The purpose of this post is to promote healing among those traumatized and to highlight practices that need to stop so that a Christian community is restored once again as the safest  emotional and physical space for any child of God. As you continue educating yourself on church trauma and abuse, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. If you need to, seek a mental health professional to help you better understand your condition its impact on your relation
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Your Money, My Books

 “Give me money for my birthday so I can buy books for me to read throughout the year.” That was my request for my birthday in January this year (2021). Less than ten responded but they gave generously. Now as I type this article, a day before 2021 ends, I am so thankful to report I was able to buy 17 books from Book Depository throughout the year with the money they gave! Though short of my goal – one book a week (so 52 books) – I was kept busy and stimulated with the books I was able to purchase. Here’s a rundown of the books that have been one of my best birthday presents: Dear Life by Rachel Clarke – a must-read book for all who will die especially at the beginning of the year, when you celebrate your birthday. It was a difficult book to read because I abhor death and the end of my sojourn on this lovely planet. Even so, die I will so I read this book by a doctor working in the palliative ward. The first time I saw this word was when I was undergoing chemotherapy for my cancer
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Book Review: The Miracle Equation (Hal Elrod)

Chapter 1: Taking The Mystery Out Of Miracles Elrod begins by introducing two types of miracles - the passive, random type we read about and go "Wow' and conclude it can never happen to us and the more tangible, measurable miracles you have control over (the kind this book promises) [p.14-15].On a side note, I like the difference he notes between being skeptical versus being cynical [p.14]. I also love his definition and concept of a Miracle Maven - a person of understanding who generates remarkable events or development that brings welcomed consequences [p.16]. he then highlights the pre-requisites for a miracle (including envisioning a future you believe is possible and working hard to achieve it). I like that he emphasizes the necessity for the vision/goal to be meaningful (serious, important, worthwhile) to you, calling it the driver for achieving the envisioned miracle [p. 19]. He then introduces his Level 10 concept as our daily focus [p. 20]. To have faith, Elrod presse
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Box It!

I have worried myself sick (literally) so many times in the past. I have had sleepless nights, I have painted endless terrifying scenarios of the future and have even fainted from excessive worrying! Have you been in the same boat as I? What can we do when worries assail us and we feel that we are about to sink into the abyss of loss, pain and death? Imagine your mind as a drawer with many compartments. Place each worry in one compartment. When dealing with a particular worry, go to the compartment it is kept, open the drawer and deal with it. At other times, leave it in the box and don't even take a peek! Label each box (compartment) and see to it at the appropriate time, ONE box at a time! Catch rogue worries and box them quickly - do not allow them to escape and wander around your mind aimlessly doing mischief. Focus on one box at a time.
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The Dream Jacket

New Zealand was cold but he knew just what he needed to keep him warm . . . and to bring him closer to realizing his dream. A leather jacket. He may have told me how and where he got the jacket but I can't remember. All I knew he wore it a lot while studying in New Zealand where he dreamt of wearing it when he rode his big bike. His jacket was part of his dream - to study overseas, to ride big bikes, to be successful - and he treasured it. He eventually returned home and as the years passed, put on weight and no longer could wear the jacket. Furthermore it was too hot and heavy for the humid Malaysian weather but he kept it. A treasure. A memento. A link to a special time in history. But the day came when, out of his generous heart and love for his brother, he gifted the jacket to his brother who was going to Melbourne for a much needed rest. The jacket was received with joy and it served the brother well by keeping him warm and more than that, my continuing its role as memory
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Soothe Your Self

We soothe distressed babies & children; as adults we too need to be soothed when distressed. Distress tolerance skills (DTS) necessary to help you go through a crisis, or when you are not able to solve a problem or when you do not want things to get worse. Self-soothing (SS) is a DTS skill. you treat yourself with compassion, care and kindness you build resilience; bounce back faster useful when experiencing major stress or overwhelming emotions SS focus on your 5 SENSES - 'enjoyable sensory experiences' SIGHT - pretty nature spot, art, coloring SOUND - calming music, nature sounds, songs SMELL - scented candles, essential oils, cooking TOUCH - warm bath, soft clothing, brush TASTE - drinks, chocolate, delicious meal and ONE EXTRA KINESTHETIC  - rocking chair, pleasant stroll, playing Experiment, find what best fits you. Look for elements of warm, dark, quiet, mellow, sweet, soft, rhythmic, cuddly.   You may resist this because believe don'
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