Skip to main content

Why Am I Always Expecting The Worst?

Notes and thoughts from my study of this article after I realized I lived expecting tragedies to always follow (happen).

So I found out that catastrophizing is a form of anxiety, something irrational, based on false assumptions. Technically I have a cognitive distortion.

What was scary that hit close to home was the notion it could be a symptom of trauma (tell me about it!) that stems from and breeds helplessness and hopelessness!!! Wow, immediately I was flooded with childhood memories of various forms of abuse and gripping fear that almost daily clouded my being. Talk about revelation. Talk about feeling helpless and hopeless as a kid. Anxiety - yup.

It is also a way to prevent myself from loss. If I allowed myself to celebrate (which I don't), feel wonderful (happy etc., anything positive), I become fearful that it will be lost (soon). So I preemptively guard against the loss of joy. I anticipate disaster, failure and loss lurking in the bushes ready to pounce and drag away my object/reason for joy.

Truths I need to affirm:
  • life is uncertain
  • bad things do happen but not as often and as bad as I imagine
  • I do have the resiliency, coping skills and resources to cope when bad comes knocking
Ways to OVERCOME catastrophizing:
  1. Catch myself doing it.
  2. Challenge the validity of what I am thinking
  3. Consider other possibilities or scenarios (even good ones)
  4. Focus on NOW
  5. Breathe and chant positive mantras (All will work out for good. It is well.)
  6. Can I prepare or prevent this expected tragedy? Do it!
  7. Practice healthy coping strategies

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Understanding Church Trauma

Christian  communities are expected to be our safest emotional and physical spaces. Even so, there are times this sacred space become toxic, abusive, and traumatizing to a church member when leaders and members of a congregation exhibit actions that fail to reflect the love of God. In the infographic below, four common ways church trauma is caused is identified and explained. I hope the information will help you understand what has happened to you or someone you know in church (or now no longer in the Christian community). The purpose of this post is to promote healing among those traumatized and to highlight practices that need to stop so that a Christian community is restored once again as the safest  emotional and physical space for any child of God. As you continue educating yourself on church trauma and abuse, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. If you need to, seek a mental health professional to help you better understand your condition its impact on your...
Post a Comment
Read more

What to do now?

My takeaway after meditating on Jesus' words in Matthew 3:15 What is proper to do now may demand a reversal of roles or doing things differently. It may also be temporary. Now determines who does what. But what to do now ? Do whatsoever is just, fit, requisite in our circumstances. "Observe every divine appointment and honor every divine ordinance" even if you feel unworthy and awkward. As a result, one necessary (required) act in obedience will result in the doer and the recipient being blessed and benefiting richly.
Post a Comment
Read more

Overcoming Setbacks with Seligman's 3P's

How do you successfully process negative events that hit you in life ? Psychologist Martin Seligman discovered 3P's that STUNT recovery from such events: Personalization - what happened is my fault; realize that bad events aren't entirely your fault. Not everything that happens to you happens because of you. When you blame yourself, you delay recovery. Pervasiveness - this will affect ALL areas of my life; realize bad events don't affect every area of your life Permanence - the aftershocks of this event will last forever; realize hardships won't follow you everywhere forever even though you feel that the debilitating anguish will always be there. When we are suffering, we tend to project it out indefinitely and overestimate how long negative events will affect us. One way to overcome this is to replace "never" and "always" with "sometimes" and "lately". So next time, when the next 'bad'comes, remind yourself ...
Post a Comment
Read more