Peter's Info Box

Trying to determine what a pastor should do and deciding if I have been a good pastor has been difficult. I often tell people this: "Ask around. They will tell you I am not a great pastor but a wonderful Bible teacher." Excusing myself from pastoral work and identifying myself as a Bible teacher has been a common declaration for me. But the fact still remains. I am called a pastor. I am expected to pastor a church. I still wonder what am I required and have I done it (well). With this as a background, you can imagine how happy I was to come across two articles by Pastor Stephen Blandino, the Lead Pastor of 7 City Church near the downtown/cultural arts district of Fort Worth, Texas, on pastoring. He holds a Master's in Organizational Leadership and is the author of "GO! Starting a Personal Growth Revolution." He blogs regularly at www.stephenblandino.com on leadership, personal growth, church, and culture. His two articles beautifully blends all the roles a...

Bad things happen. Learning how to deal with them properly could mean the difference between defeat and development. One of the things that may help you when a 'bad' happens is to focus on worse case scenarios or in layman's terms ask yourself, "What could be worse than this?" Think for a moment about how much worse things could be. Yes, I hear you and "No", your situation could be worse. Really. Realizing that things could have gone really bad releases gratitude that will erode some of the grief you may be experiencing. On the other end of the spectrum, you could purposely express thanksgiving and gratitude for the good you do have for even in the darkest night of your soul, there are stars of blessings twinkling, no matter how small they seem to be. Acknowledging blessings can be a blessing in and of itself says Sandberg in her book Option B . She shared about an experiment where people who made a weekly list of five things they were grateful for ...

I never realized the death of my younger brother would hit me hard. But it did. I saw him fight to breathe and then breathe his last. Every breath now is precious but also a fearful reminder that it will end. And then I will be dead, too. Having my oncologist say that if cancer returns to my body, it would be in my lungs doesn't help. And when I find it difficult to breathe or take a deep breath, I worry if it's a sign my lungs have been attacked. Death and grief has had a strange effect on me (and maybe on you too) and so it was refreshing to read Sheryl Sandberg's story of grief after her husband suddenly passed away (her book is titled Option B ). Here are some of her sentences I underlined because they resonated in me: We naturally have tools to recover from loss and trauma. Turning to God gives people a sense of being enveloped in loving arms that are eternal and ultimately strong. People need to know they are not alone. My grief felt like deep, thick fog that ...

How do you successfully process negative events that hit you in life ? Psychologist Martin Seligman discovered 3P's that STUNT recovery from such events: Personalization - what happened is my fault; realize that bad events aren't entirely your fault. Not everything that happens to you happens because of you. When you blame yourself, you delay recovery. Pervasiveness - this will affect ALL areas of my life; realize bad events don't affect every area of your life Permanence - the aftershocks of this event will last forever; realize hardships won't follow you everywhere forever even though you feel that the debilitating anguish will always be there. When we are suffering, we tend to project it out indefinitely and overestimate how long negative events will affect us. One way to overcome this is to replace "never" and "always" with "sometimes" and "lately". So next time, when the next 'bad'comes, remind yourself ...

Gambling (in all its forms) is not a sin as it is never expressly approved or condemned in the Scriptures but it is a terrible and foolish path to choose, benefiting a few and destroying everyone else in its wake. Because the Bible doesn't directly address gambling and its silence provides fertile ground for discussion and disagreement, opinions vary.  As such we must be careful in deciding what to do with issues that aren’t expressly forbidden or approved in the   Bible . Considering the issue of gambling, we must not turn our personal convictions into what we consider to be Biblical truths for ourselves and for everyone else ( Romans 14 ;  1 Corinthians 8:1-12 ;  1 Corinthians 10:13-33; Romans 11:1 ). Whether or not gambling is a sin depends on our personal convictions which are an expression of our inner conscience. If we think it’s a sin to gamble but do so, then we’ve committed a sin because we’ve violated our conscience which expressly forbidden in...

Shocked and saddened to know this: t he brain has evolved to prioritize negative input over positive feedback — psychologists call it the negativity bias, and it’s strong.   There's more: we routinely scan for bad news, both internally and externally and when we find the bad news, we tend to focus down upon it. we overreact to unpleasant stimulus we’ve got a brain that’s like Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good But thank God all's not lost.  Rick Hanson, a psychologist and senior fellow at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley has come up with a method where we can refocus on the good and use it for our good.  He has developed a technique he calls HEAL , an acronym for the four steps of the process: have a good experience, enrich it, absorb it, and (counterintuitively) link it to something slightly negative. HAVE Either create a good experience or call one up from memory.  The important thing is to call up the experience, re...

When I was doing a word study on God's (and Moses') exhortation to Joshua to be strong and courageous as he entered the Promised Land to conquer it, it struck me that these words had more to do with Joshua's mental state and not his physical prowess. In other words, God was saying to Joshua that he had to be mentally tough if he was going to be successful. I was surprised by this notion because today, many psychologist who are seeking to help people become successful have also come to the conclusion that mental toughness is a key factor one must have if one is to overcome adversities in life. Looks like what God knew is now known and confirmed by modern psychology! To be mentally tough means you are able to resis t the urge to give up when experiencing failure maintain focus and determination in pursuit of your dreams and emerge stronger after each adversity Psychologist also tell us that mental toughness is a SKILL that can be strengthened - good news for people...

I created a t-shirt. It all began when I saw some beautifully designed t-shirts for couples, in English, for sale. I wondered if there was a market for such t-shirts here, for couples in Sabah and Sarawak who would think such a t-shirt would be a great gift for his/her boy/girlfriend. Then I thought, "Why not make a t-shirt that says "I love you" but in the languages of the original peoples here in Borneo. So in my love advice FB page, Cinta Bijak 101 , I asked readers to tell me how they say "I love you' in their own individual native languages. I got a lot of answers and a list of phrases in so many languages! Now what do I do? How do I put all these words on a t-shirt without making it look like a book? Then an idea hit me. Why not arrange all these phrases so they form a heart shaped collection of phrases. It was a challenge and after many tries, my art designer finally came up with a design I loved. I took it and printed my t-shirts. From Sarawak , ...

Self-control is big goal in life, IF you are a Bible-believing Christian. In Titus chapter 2, four categories of people - older men and women, younger men and women - are addressed by Paul and all four are required to learn and manifest self-control. The very fact it is to be taught tells me it is a skill and it is something you can learn but you will need a good teacher or in the case of Titus 2, a mentor. In an article by Katrina Schwartz, she identified self-control as a skill where one learns  to delay gratification.  What was new and interesting to me was the point she made about the necessity of a trusting relationship between parties involved for self-control to be manifested:  To even want to delay gratification requires a trust expectation . It was further pointed out that  many of whom have experienced discrimination or disrespect from society,  have no reason to trust those in positions of authority . In the context of a requirement by God (via...

Religion. 3 interesting ideas on it from an interesting article : Each of the world religions "depends upon what it takes to be actual events faithfully documented by reliable accounts." For every believer from these faiths their religious belief is seen to have everything to do with facts.The death and resurrection of Jesus are based on facts, capable of being defended in court (as often claimed by apologist). "Religion is a way of life, not just a collection of beliefs." It cannot be contained and practiced only within its community or worship area. We are living testimonies and we live out and manifest our faith in Jesus every where, all the time (salt and light of the world). "“Religion most often involves a deep commitment to telling other people how to live their lives.” Well, yes, for many religions it does. It certainly does for the great missionary religions of Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam." Maybe we don't tell people how they s...