Peter's Info Box

For a very long time, I really wanted to be famous, especially as a pastor. I wanted to have a famous church, a famous ministry and a famous name. I hoped that when my name was mentioned, everybody (in the Christian world or at least in Malaysia and some other places) would know who I am. Unfortunately this desire has not served me well and has coloured black my service for others and my expected results. It has left me disappointed, caused me to be disillusioned with what I have done and who I do have in my class or meeting. Desiring to be famous, to see what I define as having arrived, has caused me to devalue what I do have and to chase impossible numbers and events. So why am I so desperate to be famous? Why do I jump at any possibility to be famous? I finally owned up to my malady after I realized that being famous was a powerful driving force in my life and it was adversely affecting my work and life satisfaction. I sat down and Googled ‘desiring to be famous’ and read man...

Surround yourself with people you want to be and it's far less taxing to do what you should be doing (quote from an article). Want to change ? Join a group where change is either encouraged or what/who you want to change into is available in that group. You do become the groups you associate with most frequently. Want to be healthy, hang around health freaks and see how you change. Who are you hanging out with? 

There are those who know I had cancer but never, ever, asked me anything about it. Maybe they were too self-absorbed or they were uncomfortable having these sort of conversations. I feel  invisible to them. Even today, there are those who avoid the subject. They ask me how am I doing, am I okay now but never ever mention the word 'cancer' once in the conversation. If you are a friend, let me let you in on a secret : you can and should talk to me about my journey through cancer. Do not avoid this painful conversation. You will not upset me by asking how I am today after my bout with cancer. I want to talk about it but only if you ask . Why? Merle Saferstein (quoted by Sheryl Sandberg in her book Option B) says it best: "Survivors want the opportunity to teach and not be shunned because they went through something unknowable. These aren't personal questions. They are human questions."

Rewards are responsible for three-quarters of WHY you do things, says an article I read. Rewards, especially ones that benefit self most, really do spur people to do great things. So what will you reward yourself when you complete something on your to-do list? Have you? What personal benefits are available once you complete a task?  Remember: no personal benefiting rewards, no (or less) motivation to do or even complete a task. If you can't find or receive such a reward but you need to get a task done, try this: Give your friend a certain amount of money (say RM50). If you get your task done by an agreed set deadline, you get the money back. If you don't it will be given to a person or organization you strongly dislike.

Many will confess they procrastinate but still have no clue why or how to overcome it. Here's something interesting I found when reading up about this problem: we procrastinate most when we are in a bad mood. When you are up and cheery, you are ready to tackle any task, but when you are down and grumpy, no task is desirable, no matter how easy it may be. Why dilly dally when in a bad mood? Apparently it's a mood-management technique we use, believing if we wait and distract ourselves with 'other activities' (and not do work) our mood will change! So how, what are we to do? Well the experts say we need to focus on creating happiness and optimism instead . How? Monitor the progress you are making and celebrate it. Are you making progress in your work in life (even what you consider a small progress, IS progress)? Have you been purposely monitoring your progress? Have you celebrated every achievement, every completed step, phase or goal? Don't wait this i...

We all deal with loss. Loss will happen and we will have to face them. Facing them correctly and coming up on top is what I want and looks like being RESILIENT is a good place to start. Resilience comes from within us and from support outside us. It comes from gratitude for what IS good in life while leaning into what sucks when it comes. It comes from learning how to process loss well as well as accepting it. Sometimes we more control over our grief (because of loss), sometimes less. "When life pulls you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breather again" - Sheryl Sandberg, Option B